


Philophobia - Murdoc Niccals x Reader

by CultMother



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Dark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-13 15:23:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11762754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CultMother/pseuds/CultMother
Summary: Everyone has some sort of problem. It just depends on what.philophobia n (Greek philia, love + phobia, fear) - a persistent, abnormal, and irrational fear of love and intimacy, of deep relationship with somebody.





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> If you supported me on Wattpad @Mercurite, it would help me plenty! Thank you if you do follow me there!

**Agliophobia**  
_The fear of being hurt_

Plenty of times in my life have I come across the same problem. Every time, it has sunk its roots deeper beneath my skin, inching to my heart, devouring me whole. It was a delicate dance, like lace dragging across my skin, the breath of wind in the trees; my heart and my fears.

So porcelain, my heart, fragile and something that required protection that I could not give it or at least was, in fact, deluded I could and had the control to protect something that was never mine in the first place for it would always belong to another. Perhaps my defections were not of the physical or mental means, but of the emotional means; emotionally crippling me in every and any way possible, causing a sort of sharp harm against myself.

Perhaps, maybe, my end was inevitable. This story isn't about happiness, or about getting over my fear or anything else, really, it's about the pain and how sometimes you can't get away from it, how even if some prevail sometimes others can't do anything about their situation yet sit there in stasis, suffering and in turn further cracks spread across the facade that might be their iron skin turning out to be nothing more than glass.

It was August. I had to get away from the city, find more peaceful places to be. So, despite the fact that the money I had wasn't a mass sum I took a loan from the bank and bought a cruise ticket. I was definitely in debt but the lights on the ship made me smile, so it was worth it. It was for a week so supposedly it would be a chance to get away from my problems. I hung around the stern of the ship, leaning on the railing, my lips twisted into a small smile. My hair blew about in the slight breeze that I found to be following the ship, dancing about my face as if it were folds of a dress.

Licking my lips I stared down into the water that lapped against the ship, attacking it with force, yet finding itself unable to ever push or pull the giant floating fortress. Perhaps the water found itself frustrated that it couldn't claim the ship to its depths like it had been able to do many before it. But, there was no storm brewing in the skies. It was a beautifully clear night and supposedly it would be like this for the rest of the cruise. I was so happy to be blessed with such a peaceful week where I would have nothing but my own pleasure. I strayed away from the railing. It was the weekday and it wasn't really summer so there weren't many kids on the ship, just a few pairs of families here and there and quite a few retired couples. No singles, which was fine by my standards.

I rubbed my eyes. It was time to retire for the night. Walking down the ornate and quiet halls of the cruise ship, I cracked my neck before pulling my key out of the back pocket of my jeans. I unlocked the door to my single-bed room, it wasn't anything fancy but it wasn't meant to be. I didn't need a deluxe room with a jacuzzi or anything, although it sounded amazing. It just wasn't practical seeing where I was at with money at the moment.

I flicked on the light switch to expose the entirety of said room and it flickered before going out. I sighed. This was what cheaping out on a room got me, but it could be worse. At least there was no mold in the shower and it was fairly clean.

I dropped the key on the dresser after I locked the door again as I passed by, my eyes adjusting to the darkness as I flopped onto my bed. I was exhausted and I couldn't really figure why, although maybe a day of relaxing and thinking did that to someone. My head sunk into the pillow, soft and cooling on my cheek. I loved it. The feeling of putting your face on a cold, soft pillow. It was beyond amazing.

And I faded into sleep.

**~**

Drops of water on my cheek startled me out of sleep as I shot up, frowning. I looked up at the ceiling, unable to see shit; great. The ship was leaking. Probably from someone upstairs using the shower a bit too much. If someone wanted to have sex in the shower they could do it at home. Just because they brought the kids doesn't mean they need to have the shower going 24/7.

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. It still seemed to be a bit dark. I felt well-rested, though, so I swung my legs over the bed and stepped on the floor.

Gasping I reeled back as the ship shook, falling face first into what I'd stepped in. Water to the ankles. My heart began to pound furiously as I was soaked to the bone, crawling towards the door as I pushed off my knees to run towards it, trying to open it. Fuck! I'd locked it! It had no way to unlock it inside without the key, since I fucking cheaped out! I banged on the door in anger, hitting up my pocket while looking for them. Shit. Where...? The dresser! I turned around, only for the ship to jerk again and a downpour of water to come down on the dresser, sweeping the keys away with it. "No!" I screamed, diving into the water and sifting through it on my hands and knees.

Unfortunately, another burst of the water and it was up to my waist when standing; I found myself drowning, water over my head. I came up for air, gasping, my eyes hurting from the salt water. I needed to find that fucking key or I was dead. I heard the cracks of glass and looked up to find my port hole window spraying its own water and I knew I had a limited amount of time.

I dived back into the water with all of my strength, my hands scouring the floor. Where the fuck would the key have... the bathroom! It swept into the bathroom! I swam for my life towards it. Of course. There it was, in the middle of the floor. I grabbed it, swimming up for air which I gulped in gratefully.

I heard the breaking of glass and the room began to fill up, pulling me back underwater. I swam to the door holding my breath with all of the strength I had, shoving the key in and unlocking the door, pushing into it with my shoulder as I turned the handle. My door flew open and thank god I was holding onto it because the water rushed out of the room and I felt as if I were being torn apart but for the sake of survival I held on as hard as I could. My heart dropped as I heard a shrill scream, one filled with pain, that was quickly muted by the water. Now that my ears were tuned and I could see I realized that I could hear faint screaming, mostly for help, from where I was located.

I needed to move. The little stream of water was slowly becoming a river and I couldn't risk holding onto this handle and waiting for help because I knew it wasn't coming. I jumped forwards, holding onto one of the railings moulded into the wall; a wave rocked the ship, sending a good amount of water my way. The side of the railing I was on popped off and I screamed at the top of my lungs, tears streaking my face.

I pushed forwards throughout the bowels of the ship, advancing slowly. It was difficult but I finally made it out and my first thought was to find a floating contraption I could hang on. I remembered seeing one on the side of the ship I'd been hanging off of. It was close to the exit I'd used to reach the deck, thankfully.

As I edged to the corner, however, it was like a bomb went off. I was flung into the air, my head smashing against the railing as I dropped into the sea, water filling my lungs.

As my consciousness faded I was sure that this was it. I wasn't ready to die yet. Please, someone! Help me! Please!

I don't want to die yet...


	2. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A particularily short chapter, but it will be a short fic. Thirteen chapters only! Enjoy it while you can! 
> 
> Trigger warning.

I should have died.

There was no way I could have, quite literally, survived this. My body, battered by the ocean and a heavy concussion as I sunk into the water. If it wasn't for the roll of the waves I would have never made it in the first place. Perhaps my prayers were heard by an angel who took pity on me up above; I was certain that I would've died in those waves. My breath hitched in my throat, parched and as dry as a desert. It was a terrible feeling to wake up with a pounding headache worse than any I'd ever had, feeling like I'd never drank water in my life. 

What was more annoying was the swift kick to my ribs delivered by an assailant I had no strength to face. It was painful, like a more careless and unfocused hit rather than a means to actually injure me. It happened to hurt either way. "Mmm... you alive, love? Don't..." My ears began to ring fiercely, blocking out most of his sentence. "Doing it with a cold one, but..." Another moment of shrieking pain caused me to squeeze my eyes shut. "Live one's better." 

As whoever it was got closer their voice faded out more and more until I finally realized I was spiralling out of consciousness, devoured by the blackness of my own mind. My eyes came to a close and like that, I was gone.

At least, that would've been what one would think; half-dead, come in with the tides of the sea, yet here I was. My eyes slowly opened, achingly, painfully adjusting to the light which I shielded myself from. Yet, the sweetness of the situation quickly became like the insides of a rotted fruit. Where was I? How long had I been unconscious? 

As I swung my legs over the side and began to stand I collapsed to the ground with a groan, between my legs hurting like never before. It was so sore and I realized, as I gazed upon my naked body, that blood coated both sides of my thighs. In horror, I tried to come up with some sort of excuse as to why. Early period? No, I'd had the last of it the first day I got onto the cruise. My hands trembled as I tried to think of anything and everything else.

"You were a good shag, love. Would've been better if you were conscious, but seems like there ain't many conscious women around 'ere these days." My breath hitched in my throat and I could feel myself turning pale. Had I been... defiled? I couldn't really come up with an explanation for my current feeling. It was one I would never want to feel again. Of utter shame, discontent. I felt... like I was nothing. Like I was just some absurd abnormality in the world. My eyes, having adjusted to the light, came to view a quite hideous man. 

His skin was between pale and dark green, looking sickly as I've ever seen in my life. There was a bit of unshaven stubble around his chin and his nose seemed to be bent in three different places as if it'd been broken multiple times. His clothes were seemingly clean but there was no doubt that the man himself absolutely reeked. "It's great to meet you. Ain't the best I've ever had," He holds up your I.D., gazing at it momentarily as he memorized your name and such before tossing it. As to where, you had no idea. There was a bit of clutter on the floor. "But, you're better than a blue-haired man-child, so you'll have to do." I could barely manage words so I did the new best thing; a frown mixed with a glare. The man cackled and I observed his greasy hair; did he dump fry grease on his hair in the morning? "I'm Murdoc Niccals. Murdoc Niccals from Gorillaz. Now you have a name to tell the press when I knock you up and send you home."

Knock me up? No. He couldn't even be thinking of. "What the hell do you mean, knock me up?!"

"Well, love, I keep tabs of how many girls I've knocked up. It's kinda like a game, see. Nothing big, just a little hurrah for my years of fame. We'll never see each other again afterwards anyways so it doesn't affect me too much." Him. Was him all he was thinking about?! There was no possible way I'd let him knock me up! And fame? I'd never even heard of this guy. He was fucking insane! 

"I don't think so, you fucking psycho!" I hissed, backing up as far as the wall would allow me as he advanced towards me. Of course, my still-aching body also seemed to spur my speed as my knees buckled. His knee sunk into the mattress as he advanced on me, a malicious grin to be seen creeping across his ugly maw. A glint caught my eye; a cross. At first I thought, why would a man of God be doing this? 

But as I focused on it further, it wasn't a holy cross. My face paled. This was, hands down, the worst vacation I have ever been on.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading Philophobia! If you could give kudos and bookmark I would appreciate it so very much. I have worked so very hard and I hope you show the support Philophobia needs to prosper so others can find it too! I'll try to respond to every and any question or comment you send. ♥️
> 
> ~ Love, Merc!


End file.
